Rest In God's Peace

uncle passes away... not my uncle...
my friend's dad...
i didn't know how to react when i received a msg like this...
"kay my dad pass away"
after i read the msg, i just couldn't do anything...
i'm not beside her... couldn't comfort her...
i can only tell her not to be too sad...
i'm talking nonsence i know...
how can you control your emotional when someone you love had gone?
my tear drop along with her when i talk to her on the phone...
sorry, i don't know what should i do...
i'll definitely stay with you when i'm there...
you're had done your best!
even nobody know but God knows...
like you said: be still and know He is God

rest in peace uncle...
thank u for everything...
i'll never forget what you've done for me...
especially the memories in Korea...

feeling sorry to had that kind of mindset...
but i believe you're meeting our almighty God right now... :')

T E A R S.

Tears easily fall for me.
I usually touched by all those sad scene from drama.
Else will be sad story telling by celebrity or singer.
I got to watch this at my office during my free time.
It really touched me. Each of every word.
Geeeee~ Start wipe away my tears when the boys cried.
I don't know is it because they are singer, they are star.
They could cry like this.
Normally for guy, they wouldn't prefer to cry at the public.
I really felt pathetic for them.
At the same time, i know that i'm really blessed that i still have my parents.
Somehow, i kept complaining about what i don't have.
I was thinking, may be i should be thankful for what i have.
Especially, i'm a grown-up girl. who is 21 this year! :)
For this post title i put, is because i was thinking one serious prob.
Sometime, it's really weird that..Why my tears easily fall for this kind of sad scene or so on.
It's that means i'm still a baby? lol
Just curious... lol
Take a look, if you curious what's happen to this SUJU's member.
Present to you Donghae and Leeteuk.

This is not me!!!!!

I thought i've been given you up...

But why i still feel jealous because of you talking to her...

This shouldn't like me. I'm not such a person...

and yet, God doesn't like a person like this as me...

How could i just emo u... Because u talk to her!?

THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!

but the truth which is i had just got back to u...

I couldn't balance myself of being a friend of her...

When i know the girl you like which is she...

but this is not her problem.. why i still so care!?

Her personality is just fine...

haizzzzzzz~ i don't think is the best way of forcing myself to give him up...

Let it be...

F R I E N D !!!

Well, before you read this. Please confirmed that you understand me well.
Cause i scared i might write something that you will not agree me!!
To me, FRIEND are the importance people to me (beside GOD and FAMILY)
The friend i means is my best friend larr~ Those who know me well.
Guess you know i 'm a kind of person like to rely on people and keep on think about nonsense!!
What i wrote on my msn status--------> You're hurting me in the moment you don't know!!
Yeah~ These is for you guys de!! I might joke around with you every single moment~
But, actually that's only when i'm back to seremban!!!
(Don't you received my message said that i miss you?)That's what truth i said it from my heart!
I also don't know why i felt so lonely once i get back to KL!! =((
I hate the feel, was like we get so far~ And i got no much friend in KL as well.
What i've done everyday? Go to work...Back to home...Cook for dinner and lunch...
I don't even have time to know new friend... Sad case is i only got one colleague in my office...
And i don't feel like she's can called as my friend! Colleague means colleague...
Feel sure different a bit geh~ Know why i'm getting upset recently mahh?
I know you guys going movie with your friends..This is what i sad about..
I'm not jealous you guys, just felt i have no more friend except you guys jorr =((
To: Someone....
I know i shouldn't write here~ But, please don't joke me as asking me go yaksi!
It hurt me =(( I know you just kidding. But, sorry that i couldn't take it as a joke when i'm in KL.

FRIEND!! Please care me when i'm in KL...
You guys a bit different from me...So, you might don't know how i feel...
Care me more please~ Or leave me alone!..
By the way, thankiuuuu for being my friends...
I felt happy about it!! At least i still got friend...
Hope this post won't shocked you~ Sorry, if i shocked you =X

The one i kept deep down my heart =(

I had a best friend BEFORE...She called Yen Ling...
I know her, since i 'm form one...Both of us were so close...
I went to her house for a few time before...We always shared our lunch box...
She is a helpful girl...Willing to help people, If people ask for it...
We were so close...before the day we had been separate to different class...
We had been same class for three years...After that, i meet my primary schoolmate...
Then, I'm getting close with her for the next two years...
Heard some negative comments of my best friend last time...
I still friend with her...Just that i 'm lack of attention for her...
Start from the two years, i felt she getting changing...No more Yen Ling anymore...
Not the one i know last time...Feel like our relationship getting far away...
Both of us are like stranger...Just have lunch together...Nothing more other than that...
Haizzzzzzzzzzzzzz~~~BIG SIGHHHHHH*
Before we graduate , we got work part time job together before...
As a waitress at a hotel Chinese Restaurant...
During the working period also doesn't talk so much...
Felt a bit regret that i didn't really care for her....
Now, both of us also din contact for two years ad =(
Last time i saw her brother, i didn't go and greet to him pun =S
Don't know how is she now =(
Miss her siaaaaa =X

Our miao miow FOREVER!!

That day u suddenly tell us ur decided!!
Really shocked us!!Summore that day i moody~
Feel like wanna cry,When get to know that you not our youth director anymore=(
Yeah!!We wish not to lost you as our youth director...But for ur health,we do!!
You have been with me as long as 6 years already~~awww~Time pass so fast>.< You have being a youth director for 10 years already T.T...you're just special for me =)
Cause i know you are a people who easily get involve to others =] Especially those new comes~ You give us a example to learn from you~Not because you don't really know Chinese..Then you give up us~you learn chinese to get more closer to us..And you teach us to be unity,we are only one youth,just that we have two languages!!
I'm the most noisy one in the class..Who have been teaching me..they know it =p
althoug you're not alway in our class..But,i can see that..you are so patience to me~hehe~to the youth too~
I know nothing changing between us~Just that you're not our youth director anymore..But,you still our kath jiejie(miao miao)hehe~we appreciate you,Bless everything is fine with you...
At last but not least..we LOVE you<3<3<3heheheh~~blushhhh***

Who is the person i can't even forgive one?

ME!!
i myself cannot get to forgive one!!!

Last time when i was still so young~My uncle doesn't like me to being a christian!!

He stick a photo which is a God Father "pai pai"!!..They is different with us...so,from that time i don't even dare to share gospel with my relative!!..I don't deserve to be a christion =(....Sigh*

An accident happen on my uncle last year...I don't even go and visit him!!I felt so "hou hui" now!!!Cause i didn't even try to bring God to his life...And his wife and son not being a good supporter to him =(.....Arghhhhhhhh~~~How wish the time can be reverse back on that time!!!...Haizzz~~Although he have been death for a year soon..But,i still can't forgive myself!!

Rest In Peace ba,uncle =(

MOODY's me

This is what happen on last Saturday~~
I found this song very suit to me..To other who been rejected too..lolx~A song from David Tao-普通朋友(Lyrics in the below)"Get the song by urself~@ this song really nice=)"

等待 我随时随地在等待 做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问 这是爱
我猜 你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败 从天堂掉落到深渊 多无奈
我愿意改变 (what can I do?)
重新再来一遍 (just give me chance)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深 叫我怎么能收手
但你说 I only wanna be your friend 做个朋友
我在你心中只是 just a friend 不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白 但我给你的爱暂时收不回来

So I 不能只是 be your friend

                                                   I just can't be your friend
                                                      No~ 我不能只是做你的朋友
                                                   不能只是做普通朋友

I keep listen to this song..Once i think about him...My heart feel so pain...I really want to avoid him far far away..But,i can't avoid GOD..So,i still going to church~Sigh*But then larrr~When we meet..both of us didn't talk..Not his problem larr..I admit is me myself to avoid the problem too...Then i felt this kinda geh situation comes AGAIN!!..Please larrr...I still wanna friend with you..just let me cool down first,okay?I couldn't face you right now..I felt something changing between us..May be is i myself think too much..i just need some time to give up you...But,i won't give up our friendship geh~Since you are a good friend to be mah~I keep moody on that day..So sorry..If every friend who cares me on that day..I really boh mood>.
WOW~~Xuanxuan!!Never see you so courageous before leh~~XD..So,when we back...we follow carol's car...Carol said:"I'm a kind person who so care about feeling one~she said one way to give up is to stop thinking about him..Better dun write things about him...I know i always think about him..That's why mostly my post also all about him one..so,carol said:"If i want to give up..Once i get to think about him..Hit my head ask those thing on my mind come out>.<...And then think other things~LOL~I think this is quite stupid larr(carol dun hit me :P)But it's work~Now i just concentrate what job i got to apply next..which University i gonna go for..what i need to say when i got to speech for kath~
God,i'll just follow ur way=)..please lead me~XuanXuan you can do it so=)Gambatik luuuu~~
Million thanks to CAROL THAM POPIA^^The PRO~(You are number 4th PRO in my heart^^(not include family and GOD...LOL..i seldom praise people PRO geh.You should feel happy you know?XD)

Finally,I "bank kui" jorrrT.T

I thought i so strong geh...After get the news also nothing like that...Just that no mood jek...So accidentally geh,i start crying once i know i got to back to seremban jorr...Before i finish my work i still ok geh!!..Dunno why,after work..Once i get into the car..i no mood again!!..Start thinking of something..Ignore what my sister saying..Finally,i argue with my sister..We cancel the gathering with her colleague frenzzz~~Then we got back our home for bathing first!!Then only we back to seremban...when i bathing..I keep crying..Dunno why?Feel like i wanna away from him!!...We gonna move jorr...The Hitz Fm coming out a song..That is
"according to you"~~Feel like the lyrics is saying me is only special to others..Not to him..So,when i start thinking the others..That's is God!!..Yeah~~Sorry God..I always forget jorr you=( ....That time i was thinking..I really too rely on my friend jorr..I always just think about my friend can help me..Now,i only realize that only God can heal our broken heart!!.. Thank God for everything=]

you HURT me =(

Yeah...Finally i know what you think of me...But,it really a bad news to me...And i feel like no mood at all...After i get to know your answer of it..Haiz....Not tell you that i crush on you yet!!...I already lose jorr =(*sobz*....Feel really no mood and don't want to talk at all jorr...I thought i'm not lose at all...Cause you said you will care me as a friend..No more than that..But,i can confirmed it after J tell me...
Who know J come and tell me that you tell him we cannot be more than friend..we only can be friend..Totally broke jorr(my heart)...Need to say until so clear meh?!..Summore tell others=(...Feel like i need to give up..I think i should do like last time i give up "him"!!...Stop talking to him and ignore him..But,i don't want to be like that..It really hurt others..Cause they didn't did any wrong..Why i nedd to do like that?!If,yes..I also need to forgive people..Not like a kids that don't want to talk to him at all!!...So,i think i'll just like before larr..Just that i won't simple find him jorr...Except he come and find me...
I'll try to be independence and not too rely on my friend so much!...It is really hard for me..I'm not that strong what you saw..But,i'll try my best to do it...Cause with GOD everything can be^^...
Thank God that you always by my side=]*big smile*

Cares me please

Start from last Friday i already received some bad news...Actually this bad news i knew it early jorr...Just that i cannot put it down and i forget jorr God at that moment..Forget to submit my problem to God..I'm sorry God=(
After that i received one more bad new=(
My mood so fast to get down jorr..Hope someone can cheer me up geh..So,i ask him for one joke~Too bad..He don't have the mood to tell jokes to me pun...Then he tell me:"I don't want you to rely on me to make you happy..I'll not always be here.."U know when i read this my heart really get hurt=( He said:"Kar Kay u ma rely on your friends,But don't rely on me.I'm not who you think i am.I only hurt people.."I tell him:"yaa..You hurt me now..."
After that i ask him..Have you ever been..cannot going back to ur house..Then he said:"nop..If no place to stay..U can stay my house..U can stay with my sister.."Awww~~~so sweet^^haha..But,that is what the problem i face to larr...He ask me to submit the problem to God..Thank you my fren~~remind me to rely on God...not people~~ Recently he said sumthing really hurt me...But,just that he remind me not expect too much from him...Our level only can be friend..I think so...He said:"i just want to care ask a friend...nothing ore than that...So obviously ask me not to think so much lorr=( ....That time i really really want to tell him that...How about we stop our friendship leh..I cannot just stop to control what he want me to be..Or else he stop to communicate with me..Then can jorr...But,i din say it out larr...Some time,Our topic become serious...
Today he ask me wanna play game mou?..I say okay lorr..So,we play scissors,paper,stone~~So,he said:"the lose one..will kena truth or dare!"~So,i have kena three times truth or dare larr..He say cannot three times also choose same one..So,i choose two time dare and last time is truth..1st and 2nd time he ask me to say I LOVE YOU HARRY..I felt like..Oh No~~~~~But,i also follow what he ask me to do lorr...Arghhhhhhh!! Then the third time is truth!He let me choose easy,normal or hard?..I think easy one is very simple..So,i choose normal one..He ask me:"is the guy you like someone in JCG?"and :"Does the person know u like him?.In your opinion"So,i answered him,yeap and know gua!!Then when he lose jorr..He straight away choose for the hard question..But,he din tell the full name larr..Jut give one word..Then i know who jorr...After that he lose for second one..I ask him..Any new target now..He say no,he still like her=( ..He say he know he should give up..."Then i said:"is hard to lt go de larr.."(Haiz...summore agree with him pulak..)
Haizzzzzzzzzzz~~~Frenzzzzz cares me please=(
I need you=(
P/S:Dun said WanXuan~~I also"li ti" jorr~~~ahahahaha

I cried

Like i said...My mood recently is so upside down...And my bad mood had started from last sat!!..I fail my undang also...And the whole day i feel like i have gonna through some bad things..And my present is bad!!..Yaa..i should think positive actually...But,i can't do it at all the time..I wish it's nothing happen on that day...That day...My undang had fail no.4th time...U know...after that...my mum keep on saying me:"ask u to read u dun wan..Always last minute..."My heart was thinking....I'm a noob in malay...Okay..I admit i myself is lazy...But,why she must saying like i never hardworking for it before...I felt so no mood ad...I fail my undang..And i forgot to choose song for worship lead later...Before i went to church, pei ru ask me to buy wrapping present paper for her..I buy ad..After i went church only realize that i forget to bring jorr..So,i say sorry to pei ru..She got angry...Then i just and apologize to her..But, on that moment i dunno why..Just feeling wanna cry...And my mind is keep on blaming myself...After crying..I felt regret jorr...I haven cry in front of them before...And i swear to myself..Cannot do it so...After that..They got saying about his things...Actually i felt nothing lar...I cried so suddenly inside melissa's car..Is because...I feel like may be i give trouble to him...See...So much ppl noe i had crush on him jorr...I dun wan make he no face...I feel i so stupid...(recently i watch those movie also duno cry jorr..Dunno why that day will like that...Not all at because of him..)I felt i do anything also fail...Sumtime i was thinking...May be i shouldn't live in this world...(recently i keep on blame myself...no matter what..i also feel that should be my problem...)Okay...I' m not blaming any one who joke with me actually...I' m so sorry that scared u...And on that moment i dunno what am i doing so...I might angry u for a while..But after that,i noe that is not ur problem jorr..Is my problem...I' m emo recently...my mood is so upside down...Sorry about that...To tell u the truth..This is me the real me..I'm the weak one...And the stupid one...Just because all my fren will get away from me..So,i try to stand strong...I also ''ren'' for so long ad...just that day really bad mood...I' m not crying all because of him..Just fell why so stupid am i!!...And i feel everything i do also fail...My undang fail...I' m so careless...Many ppl know it(i have a crush on him)All means i' m so stupid!!...I'm getting happy and like nothing after that is because...I dun wan let people ask why i sad or anything...Coz i dun wan ppl noe it...Yaa...I' m quite fake sometime...I hate myself too...Cause,I dunno which is the real of me too...But,i never treat my fren with the fake attitude...NEVER...I'm so sorry...Please forgive me,WanXuan...Cause,i dun wan lost one of my best fren...I'll try to be back what u want me to be...Sorry...Or else u just tell me any problem...I'll change...

My New Owner~~

Like i said...I really dun have that patient on game actually...Coz i LAZY~~LOL~~So,the FFS...I have been play for 2 months...But he didn't raise me up to 2B also...I was so bored jorr..Feel like, why i still want to play this game?...He don't cares also...So,once i saw Jojo(Joey)I just ask her to raise me to 2B~~But she say:"dun ask ppl to buy you...If you ask larr...Ppl raise jorr also no surprise lorr..."But then, 21/03/10 that day...i on FFS...Firstly i saw my cash...Wah!!...Why got 2B cash geh!!...First things came to my mind is..My pets all let people buy jorr...Coz before that is just 1B cash mah!!...After i saw my value~~Fu-yoh~~4B wor~~~This really a big surprise to me!!~~And my owner is Jojo^^So happy to have you~~But feel a bit sad too...Cause he dun want me jorr=(...Through msn with Harry only i know something..Harry say..Firstly he don't let me go geh~~But after that dunno why let jorr...So,i just ask Jojo lorr..Jo said she ash him:"i raise kar kay arr?"Then he answer jo:"No, U raise frank"Then jo ask again..Then he no answer anymore=(...But then...At least he got say NO at first...Stay with Jo is more comfortable with him geh!..At least...No need to follow rules~~And i can get back my LengZai pet jorr~~But dunno why i'll feel a bit sad to see owner de pic not him at all jorr...(sorry Jo)A big Thanks to my Jojo~~Muacksxx~~~Love you Jojo~~

No one is Perfect...

I know that no one is perfect larr....But at least people will have things he/she can do it well~~But why i just feel like i only got destroy...Didn't help any one up also =( ......Unlike me myself...Feel that i' m so useless...Like we play game..Those who same group with me before..Sure ''yim hei''(Cantonese) me one....Coz i always make the group lose or...When we face some station game..That i can't do one...I sure cry one =( .....Where is my talent?!...Where is my goodness?...Why i only found my badness out only...Not that i think positive larr... I really beh tahan myself... No patient..No Love...Summore hai yao xiao qi tim...Sei lorrr...God faster come and change my bad attitude larr...