I cried

Like i said...My mood recently is so upside down...And my bad mood had started from last sat!!..I fail my undang also...And the whole day i feel like i have gonna through some bad things..And my present is bad!!..Yaa..i should think positive actually...But,i can't do it at all the time..I wish it's nothing happen on that day...That day...My undang had fail no.4th time...U know...after that...my mum keep on saying me:"ask u to read u dun wan..Always last minute..."My heart was thinking....I'm a noob in malay...Okay..I admit i myself is lazy...But,why she must saying like i never hardworking for it before...I felt so no mood ad...I fail my undang..And i forgot to choose song for worship lead later...Before i went to church, pei ru ask me to buy wrapping present paper for her..I buy ad..After i went church only realize that i forget to bring jorr..So,i say sorry to pei ru..She got angry...Then i just and apologize to her..But, on that moment i dunno why..Just feeling wanna cry...And my mind is keep on blaming myself...After crying..I felt regret jorr...I haven cry in front of them before...And i swear to myself..Cannot do it so...After that..They got saying about his things...Actually i felt nothing lar...I cried so suddenly inside melissa's car..Is because...I feel like may be i give trouble to him...See...So much ppl noe i had crush on him jorr...I dun wan make he no face...I feel i so stupid...(recently i watch those movie also duno cry jorr..Dunno why that day will like that...Not all at because of him..)I felt i do anything also fail...Sumtime i was thinking...May be i shouldn't live in this world...(recently i keep on blame myself...no matter what..i also feel that should be my problem...)Okay...I' m not blaming any one who joke with me actually...I' m so sorry that scared u...And on that moment i dunno what am i doing so...I might angry u for a while..But after that,i noe that is not ur problem jorr..Is my problem...I' m emo recently...my mood is so upside down...Sorry about that...To tell u the truth..This is me the real me..I'm the weak one...And the stupid one...Just because all my fren will get away from me..So,i try to stand strong...I also ''ren'' for so long ad...just that day really bad mood...I' m not crying all because of him..Just fell why so stupid am i!!...And i feel everything i do also fail...My undang fail...I' m so careless...Many ppl know it(i have a crush on him)All means i' m so stupid!!...I'm getting happy and like nothing after that is because...I dun wan let people ask why i sad or anything...Coz i dun wan ppl noe it...Yaa...I' m quite fake sometime...I hate myself too...Cause,I dunno which is the real of me too...But,i never treat my fren with the fake attitude...NEVER...I'm so sorry...Please forgive me,WanXuan...Cause,i dun wan lost one of my best fren...I'll try to be back what u want me to be...Sorry...Or else u just tell me any problem...I'll change...